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Being Overweight is Temporary

The Story of Tanya

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful slim Princess called Tanya. When she fell in love with a handsome Prince called Max, everyone was delighted. Everyone that is, except for her mother the one they called the Black Widow.

Why was the Black Widow so opposed to her daughter’s new romance? Because she had secretly promised Tanya to Lord Rotter an elderly land-owner, in return for one million gold pieces a sum which Max could never hope to raise, not in a thousand years!

Faced with the prospect of losing this money, the Black Widow acted swiftly. First, she exiled Max to Crocodile Island. Next, she summoned her daughter and told her about the arranged marriage to Lord Rotter. But Tanya refused point-blank. I’d rather be hanged she said.

The Black Widow smiled venomously. Let me see if I can change your mind, Tanya dear she purred. It was no idle threat. One week later, Tanya was arrested and brought before the royal blacksmith who imprisoned her inside a heavy iron corset which he had made to her exact measurements. Fitted with a huge lock, the corset was impossible to remove, or open, without a special key. Locked inside, Tanya could barely stand, let alone walk.

Dressed in this hideous contraption, Tanya was dragged before the Queen. How do you feel now, dearest daughter? asked the Queen, with a sneer. Are you ready to marry Mr Rotter? Tanya shook her head in disgust. In that case shouted the Queen, you will stay in that corset until you die! Then she handed the key to a guard and said: Take this to the ends of the earth and lose it!

The years passed and people died. The first to go was Rotter, who fell off his horse and broke his neck. Then the guard who lost the key was killed in a brawl. Finally, ten years later, the Black Widow was eaten by wolves and Tanya became Queen. Now at last she was free to remove her corset and live a normal life.

There was just one small problem. Tanya’s corset was too strong to break and no lock-smith could be found who could make a key to unlock it. So Tanya stayed handicapped. She couldn’t move properly, she couldn’t play with her nephews and nieces and, because she looked so ungainly, she couldn’t appear in public. So she hid herself away in the palace, exhausted and depressed. After a few more years, she could hardly remember what it was like to be normal.

Then one day, a handsome battle-scarred Knight arrived at the palace gates. What do you want? shouted the guard. Tell the Queen that Max has returned! replied the Knight. The guard dropped his sword and ran to the Queen’s chambers at top speed. Your Majesty! Your Majesty! Max has returned! he shouted. When Tanya heard, she fell to the floor and wept. Send him away! I can’t let him see me like this, she sobbed.

Just then, the door burst open and in rushed Max. My darling Tanya! he cried, I’ve been searching for 10 long years. Now at last you can begin to live! With that, he pulled out a rusty key, unlocked Tanya’s ugly corset and helped her out. Tanya flung herself into Max’s arms and wept with joy. One week later, she and Max were married and lived happily ever after.

The Moral

Are you wearing an iron corset of fat around your body? If so, don’t bother waiting 10 years for someone to free you free yourself! It won’t take you long and you don’t have to be a superwoman. Just change your eating habits and be patient and gradually your fat will disappear for good.

Being overweight is no more than a temporary problem why make it permanent?

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