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Help! I’m Just Married

It’s new and exciting.
It lasts for 12 months.
And it makes us fat.
What is it?

Answer: The first year of marriage.

Take a look at Nancy, for example. Here she is on her wedding day, coming out of the church after marrying Nick. She looks fabulous. Her dress is lovely, her hair is beautiful and her figure is a perfect size 10. It has taken her a lot of effort to look so good but it’s worth it. After all, this is the most important day of her life.

Unfortunately, it’s all downhill from here.

You see, despite all the fuss and all the talk of ‘the future’, Nancy sees her wedding day as the end of the process. In other words, as soon as the photos are taken, she thinks she can relax and let herself go.

So when she goes off on honeymoon, she forgets all about her appearance and goes on a 14 day binge. Result? She puts on 7 pounds (half a stone). Is she worried? Not at all. It’s almost a relief to be able to eat loads without worrying about how she’s going to fit into her wedding dress!

But the bad-eating doesn’t stop when she returns. Why not? Because like many new wives Nancy has lots of things to show off. She has loads of visitors round to see the new house and the wedding video and photos. And all of them bring cakes or chocolates or alcohol. Result? Nancy’s waistline expands even further.

At the same time, she gives dinner parties for friends. She opens up her new cookbook and cooks the richest meals and the creamiest desserts she can find. It’s great fun but it’s very fattening.

Of course most of the time she doesn’t bother much with cooking. Either, she and her husband eat out or else she cooks something instant. And if they stay in on a Saturday night, they get a video and tuck into a take-out and a couple of bars of chocolate. All in all, it’s a very fattening diet, but Nancy isn’t bothered, she’s too busy playing house.

Another problem about marriage is that it gives us the opportunity to learn all sorts of bad habits from our partner. In Nancy’s case, she learns how to eat cookies. You see, Nick is used to having a packet of cookies on the table after dinner, so she starts buying them for him and before long she’s munching away quite happily.

Finally, there’s the mother-in-law problem. Nick’s mother is not convinced that Nancy is capable of looking after her precious son, so she invites them round for regular meals of roast lamb and apple pie. While Nancy’s mother is forever popping round with home-baked goodies and boxes of cakes. Both mothers mean well but their children are blowing up like balloons!

In fact, by the end of her first year of marriage Nancy is 20 pounds heavier and her jeans are size 16. She doesn’t particularly like the idea of being size 16 but she’s not bothered enough to do anything about it. Result? Two years later, she is struggling to get into a size 18. Then she gets pregnant and ends up a regular size 20. Poor old Nancy.

Are you getting married in the near future? If so, here’s some straight advice.

The first year of marriage is the foundation for everything that follows. Enjoy it, make the most of it, but don’t be a Nancy! Don’t let yourself go! You’ll only store up trouble for yourself.

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